Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Old People Sure do Love Their Adultery and Illicit Drugs

Sitting on my break at work I tend to overhear some pretty hilarious conversations of people walking past. Even just catching snippets can keep me entertained on the sometimes very boring hour I have for lunch in the city with nothing to do. While sitting in my usual spot today a young looking couple came and sat nearby. I couldn't see the guy's face but the girl was facing me and looking very bored as he tried to impress her.
"I used to be a little shit at school. I made about three teachers cry! Just ask Ned. He'll tell you!"

I couldn't help but smirk when the young girl looked directly at me and rolled her eyes.
Here's a tip for you, Mr: No one likes a bully.

But the inspiration for telling you this little story dear readers wasn't a try hard 18-year-old boy. But an 80 year old one. And his girlfriend. Who would have also been 80? 

I was waiting for a friend at the movies last week. And while I was waiting I overheard something I never thought I would hear coming out of a random 80 year old's mouth.

The cutest old couple I have ever seen in my life walked into Wallis holding hands and clearly on a date. They were smiling sweetly at each other and seemed very much in love. When they sat down at the table next to me to wait for an appropriate time to head in to their movie they were talking loudly enough for anyone in the foyer to hear.

The conversation went something like this:

Old Man: "When are you going to leave that husband of yours for me? Time is running out you know…"

Old Woman: "He's going into heart surgery this week. I'm going to have to wait until he's recovered. Don't want to kill the fool!"

And if that wasn't enough...

Old Man: "Goodo. Oh by the way dear, that interfering daughter in law of mine found my grandson with my pot. Shouldn't have told the little shit where it was. Anyway, can you get me some more?"

I'd lost it at this stage and hurriedly pulled my phone out of my pocket to pretend like I was laughing at a text.

Moral of this story kids:

Watch what you talk about it public. It might just wind up on the Internet. 

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