Thursday, April 19, 2012

Skydiving Ketone Synthesis (Disambiguation)

Sometimes on extremely rare, somewhat special occasions, I will take a little time out of my vigorous lifestyle of bear hunts, extreme ketone synthesis orgies and jumping out of planes in one of those squirrel suit things to peruse what is commonly known as “The Internet”.


Thursday, April 12, 2012

Lazy "I"

Sweetbreads: The Bitter Reality

The Potato Dilemma

Today I struck a dilemma.

It was early, for some godforsaken reason my internal clock decided that 6:48AM was PRECISELY the right time to wake me up with a rather sudden “WHAT-THE-FUCK-HOLY-SHIT-ALIENS/ZOMBIE/DEATH-KITTEN/NAZI-INVASION” nervous twitch. You know the kind that throws you half a foot into the air when you’re about four seconds away from falling into a nice scrumptious sleep?

That kind.

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Trapped in a Cube in Space Man: Hand Drawn Comics

Rummaging through my study earlier today I came across an old notebook from my first year at university in 2009. In it are a few pages of a comic I started (rather than studying, which is probably why I’m still a waiter right now).

Feeling extra generous, I’ve decided to share the WHOLE FOUR PAGES with you, my kind readers.

Here we go…

Old People Sure do Love Their Adultery and Illicit Drugs

Sitting on my break at work I tend to overhear some pretty hilarious conversations of people walking past. Even just catching snippets can keep me entertained on the sometimes very boring hour I have for lunch in the city with nothing to do. While sitting in my usual spot today a young looking couple came and sat nearby. I couldn't see the guy's face but the girl was facing me and looking very bored as he tried to impress her.
"I used to be a little shit at school. I made about three teachers cry! Just ask Ned. He'll tell you!"

I couldn't help but smirk when the young girl looked directly at me and rolled her eyes.
Here's a tip for you, Mr: No one likes a bully.

But the inspiration for telling you this little story dear readers wasn't a try hard 18-year-old boy. But an 80 year old one. And his girlfriend. Who would have also been 80? 

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

Turning 22: Expectations vs. Reality

Have you ever walked into a business (any business, a restaurant, CD store, assassin’s hideout, whatever) and looked at someone who worked there and thought, “Wow, I wonder if this is what they envisioned for themselves? I wonder if they go home each night and cry while leaning up against the shower wall like every single dramatic film ever made?”

My 22nd birthday is rapidly approaching, and this morning after having a really bizarre dream where I was being chased by physical representations of responsibility (they looked like stern brown bears with business suits), I’ve been wondering if I’m where I should be at this point in my life.

But first, some background information...