Monday, March 19, 2012

Introducing ALICE - Watch Her Hate on Facebook

I was lying in bed trying to ignore the sound of the Facebook messenger app making noises at me as Tom nagged me to finish writing one of the million stories and drabbles I have on the go already, when it got me to thinking…
What the hell was life like before Facebook ruined our lives? I can’t even remember anymore.

I’m not going to ramble on about the shit people do on Facebook and everything around that because I’m pretty sure there is already something about that here, but what I am going to say is holy shit guys! Stop letting it take over your life.

I was having a discussion with someone the other day, which went something like this:

ME: The Internet is so slow at the farm I grew up on that I don’t bother going on Facebook when I’m there because it takes too long to load.

PERSON (looking up from a Facebook app on their smart phone):
HOW DO YOU LIVE?!?!?!??!

ME: It’s not that bad, I find other things to do.

PERSON: You’re weird.

They literally shut up and walked away after that. (Looking at their phone as they walked laughing at a status update they made about me as they walked off…. Yeah it was about me, they tagged me in it)

I’m not even kidding. The concept of not being able to check Facebook was that incredible to them that they couldn’t stand talking to me. I think I would have had a better chance of explaining myself if I posted on their wall or something.

Can I also point out, that posting about an awesome conversation you are having then spending the rest of the ‘conversation’ discussing it with your online friends means you are no longer in the conversation anymore and no longer have the right to tweet/post whatever about it because you have now lost touch with the real world and are just annoying the people trying to talk to you while you stare at your phone and laugh at shit we can’t see.

In saying this, I’m not going to act like I’m not using social media on my iPhone either, and that I don’t tag my friends wherever we go, or tweet about some of the stupid shit that comes out of Tom’s mouth, but at least I still have the social skills to have an actual conversation with someone face to face. And I know that I could live without it if I was put in the situation where I had to survive without for an extended period of time.

The honest truth of the matter though, is no matter how much Facebook shits me, especially when trying to have a conversation with someone and they cant stop checking who’s liked their status. I’m not going to give it up, I just think we need to tone down the use a bit and actually get a life instead of pretending to the 700 friends you have who really don’t give a shit about your fake internet one.

My challenge to you my lovely reader, (yes I want your attention put your phone down, Facebook can wait) is tonight when you log off Facebook and go to bed, don’t pick up your phone again once your all cuddled up to check it again, it can wait till tomorrow.  And don’t bitch to me about how it's your nightly ritual and you wont be able to sleep without checking it’ (yeah I’ve heard that before) here’s an idea, pick up a book and read, at least then you might have something interesting to say on Facebook or tweet about in the morning. Once you have had time to sleep on it.


Anonymous said...


The Two Finger Scroll Team said...

Thanks! This is what we get for posting late + tired. -_-

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