Thursday, April 28, 2011

Xylophone Guy

Whether you're cruising along the mall on a sunny afternoon in search of delicious grease, or stumbling toward delicious grease at 1:30am after your fourteenth imperial pint, he is always there.

The man. The man with the plan. The man we all aspire to. The man sitting in the gutter, possibly asleep, instrument always in-lap, legs sprawled in absolute comfort. Possibly the greatest man... ever.

I speak of course, of Xylophone Guy. Some say he's but a humble musician, lost in a world of tyranny and deception, reaching out with whimsical charm to those who dare to listen. Others say he's a filthy drunken idiot who can't play the Xylophone for shit.

Our friend recently had a close and personal encounter with Xylophone Guy. There wasn't much of a conversation but it did end with her being violently knighted with xylophone sticks. An interesting move, especially after being given actual currency in exchange for what seemed like a random, painful arrangement of single notes.


Despite an overwhelming amount of distrust and anguish from the general public, he is very important, like Over-confident-circus-performer-Guy, or Fucking-brilliant-at-whatever-that-instrument-is-Guy. We need these people. Without our freaks, Adelaide would surely perish in a hellish fire of buskers who actually know what they're doing, subsequently requiring many dollars.


Soph said...

I like the old man who plays violin on Rundle St and sometimes wears an excellent velvet jacket! he wins over xylophone man... who I thought only had one leg. He's been lying to me all these years.

Holly Wilson said...

he once asked me to lift my skirt for him...

Anonymous said...

He died :(

Mike said...

Just heard that he died, came across this page while searching for more info :(

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