Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Salty Snacks are my Forbidden Lover and Personal Jesus


I can never bypass a salty snack.

Never.

Not once.

Asking me to go overlook a salt encrusted treat is like asking me to come up with an appropriate simile. It’s just not going to happen.

I’ll demolish an entire packet of mini pretzels in one sitting. I’ll scoff down those magnificent little bastards until my taste buds are completely fried while the sides of my mouth are all shriveled and my tongue sticks to them.


Thursday, April 19, 2012

Skydiving Ketone Synthesis (Disambiguation)


Sometimes on extremely rare, somewhat special occasions, I will take a little time out of my vigorous lifestyle of bear hunts, extreme ketone synthesis orgies and jumping out of planes in one of those squirrel suit things to peruse what is commonly known as “The Internet”.


Sometimes.